I read Fields' commentary about her piece (http://brevity.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/chipping-toward-the-center-the-art-of-brevity/) and what interested me was the first statement that her Metro experience was a happy one. It didn't necessarily seem like it, being crammed up against other women, one of them even laying her hands on Fields for balance, seemed awkward and uncomfortable. Her last sentences, however, reveal her emotions "And all the while, women are laughing. I am laughing," and it gives the piece almost an air of humor about the "sour breath" and "itchy cloth."
At the end of Fields' piece, I wanted it to continue. It was such a short slice of a moment and was so vivid, I was surprised when it ended. It felt abrupt, but it shows how a strongly worded piece, no matter how short can immerse a reader so effortlessly. I would have liked to see more of Fields' experiences in Cairo, but I suppose I will have to be content for now.
Justyne Marin
Thanks for posting that link. I actually it more that the actual piece because she lets us know about an artistic choice she had to make. It's true that the men there are totally creepy, but the whole point of the piece is that she was able to connect with these women because they're all in the same boat, well, train. If every woman has to deal with creepers, then that fits into her theme as well. What matters though, is that she decided to focus on the actual train ride, not the men so leaving it out was a wise choice. I'm dying to know more about the story as it is and having that man figure just kinda hanging there open ended would have been too much.
ReplyDeleteI like how you phrased what this piece was: "a short slice of a moment." It was. Her article was less story and more a picture. It's a bit (but only a bit) like how people would go to theatres to view sit and view paintings. Literal paintings. Ones that didn't move. Fields writes a moment, an image, a literary painting.
ReplyDelete-Alexander Hirata
I'm glad you posted Amanda's notes on writing this piece. I'd been planning on mentioning it. In some ways, the missing element, the man on the subway, seems like the most compelling element--and yet, if you only have 700 words, something has to go. I think she made a brave writing choice. It's hard to write out the most dramatic element, and yet, if it doesn't fit . . .
ReplyDeleteSari