Field's use of imagery, description, and simile are so vivid! I could literally imagine everything she was saying, without being overwhelmed. She uses everyday images, but in a fresh way. I especially love the lines "We are like books on a shelf, supporting each other's weight" and "...a Sudanese girl gets spun in a circle as easily as a rack of clothes, her braids flying." But the description of the short women "without a mouth or nose or ears..." is frightening.
I love her variation in sentence length, which is something I am new to noticing. I had a teacher comment once that all my sentences were the same length. I was dumbfounded that it was something important or noticeable, but now I enjoy reading and writing pieces with a good variation. Small sentences are my favorite.
I appreciate the message in this piece. At first I assumed it would be about traveling in Cairo and while on some level it is, it also has a deeper message. About women and support and commonalities. In a society that has a metro car specifically reserved for women, it is only natural that females would learn to depend on one another and help each other more since they are forced to spend more time together. I liked this piece because it was so short but had so much description and metaphor that was so easy to visualize. So often in my own writing I worry that other people won't understand what I'm trying to say. I'll take the lesson from this article just to use normal, everyday images in unexpected ways.
-Katie Huffman
I didn't notice the sentence length, but now that you mention it, you're right. Your point makes it clear that every aspect of the sentence helps either draw a reader in or push them away. I'm glad you mentioned that, hopefully the sentences I write in the future vary in length. :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I too was appreciative of the deeper meaning to the piece. Fields drew me in and took me somewhere I did not expect to go. I though she brilliantly tied together the metro and commonalities between women.
-Angela
You attended Patricia Hampl's reading, right Katie? Your post reminded me of something Patricia said. Underline your sentences on tracing paper and then look at the length. Are they all the same length? I'm going to challenging you all in class on Wednesday to try it at home and bring back the results.
ReplyDeleteSari
Yes, I went to the reading. I think that would be a fun challenge. As I said, it wasn't something I had ever considered before because sentence length is not something I am conciously aware of while writing, but I do try to go back now and make sure there is some variety.
ReplyDelete-Katie